“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.” 1 John 3:2-3
Everytime I think about an honest heart, the thing that comes to my mind is a pure, clean, undivided heart. Then I sit and ponder on this asking myself do I have an honest heart before Him? No, I really don’t.
The day I decided in my heart to truly follow Jesus, I was making a commitment/covenant with Him that I will strive to be like Him in all I say and do. In the beginning there was a change, a zeal, a passion in my heart to tell people about Him, to share the good news of the Gospel, to walk and talk like Him. As the years went by, the journey become rough. See the narrow path is steep, rocky and hard to climb. I allowed myself to get consumed by the wordly things and thoughts and thought that I could do if not all, most things on my own. You see pride entered the heart. Once that entered in, bitterness, murmuring, sin followed.
Did I love the Lord? Yes I did, but not with my whole heart. Did I believe in Him? Yes, but my mind was captured in thinking that I should believe more in myself. Did I follow His ways? Yes only those that I saw more fitting to me. Was I honest before Him? No! My heart was divided and not pure and honest before His sight.
Until not very long ago, when I started to see how ugly and fake I was before Him and those around me and ofcourse I was fake and ugly towards myself. The reflection I saw of myself disgusted me and brought me down, flat on the floor in tears. Tears of repentance, of sorrow, of pain. Aknowledging before Him that I was a prodigal.
The more I drew closer to Him and asked Him to cleanse me the more my heart desired to be pure and honest. The hidden agendas of my heart were exposed before my eyes. This made me see that I had put Him last in my life and my life was not glorifying Him at all.
Every single sin stains our souls. King David is the only person in the Bible described as a man after God’s own heart. David saw God’s heart because He allowed God to cleanse him and make Him white as snow.
God is not interested in sacrifices and burnt offerings, nor is He interested in our emotions if our hearts are not pure and honest before Him. What He desires is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart. That is what He desires of us.
As I continue this journey of inner renovation my heart desires more and more to be pure and honest before the One whose mercies are new every morning, and whose love is unconditional.
My prayer is “Create in me an honest heart that is filled with more of you my Lord and Savior!”
Blessings and love,