For the past month I have been suffering from pain in my neck, arms, lower back and left leg. Working hard all these previous months to get the house done, the very damp weather and the busyness of the holidays triggered the old neck and back injury,and of course the tendonitis and epicondylitis. This has resulted in very little sleep for me due to pain which has led me to be grumpy, irritated and jumpy.
Today was one of those days. I went to bed late due to pain and woke up about 9a.m (which is late for me) feeling very tired.
Hubby was home because he has a few days off work and he made coffee for us this morning.
Instead of me being grateful, I immediately started murmuring about yesterday’s dishes in the sink, the bad weather, the laundry that was still wet outside due to the weather and the other load that needed to be hung out, and more…. He looked at me, smiled and said “Good morning to you too, honey.”
I just wanted to cry at that moment. I just looked at him and apologized for shouting and murmuring.
I felt so angry at myself. I have tried to fast and pray and be calm and instead I just messed up! I started to think : What an example am I to him and our daughter? All I do is mess up… I always fail….
Later on in the day as I was having my time with the Lord feeling so ashamed of myself and such a failure before Him, I felt as though He was talking to me in my heart and saying
– ” Your husband and daughter love you just as you are, don’t you understand my love for you is greater?”
– “But Father I fail and let you down so many times. I mess up every single day”
– “I still love you my child.” Tell me one character in My Word that did not fail or mess up at some point apart from my son Jesus?
I started to think and just write down the names that came to my mind.
- Adam and Eve messed up
- Cain messed up
- Abraham messed up
- Moses messed up
- David messed up
- Solomon messed up
- Peter messed up
- and the list goes on
Did God stop loving them because they messed up? Did this stop His plan for their lives? No, He still loved them and accomplished His plan through them and we see their lives as an example in His word.
Yes, they messed up and so do we! Yes they failed and so do we! But, they didn’t remain sitting in their mess or failure. They turned to Him, acknowledging their mistake and stood once again to GO FORWARD on their journey with HIM!
If you feel that you have messed up and that He doesn’t love you, just go to His word and see what it has to say:
“4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5
” 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39 (Scripture used from Bible Gateway)
God, our Father isn’t surprised when you mess up. You are LOVED with an Everlasting Love!!! Never forget that!!!
Love and blessings to you all,